(Attainments are levels of growth along a path of development.)
Level 5 – Protected
At some point, your boundaries are so matched to your soul that you feel safe and protected to be yourself. At this level, people, situations or things which are detrimental don’t seem to come into your life any longer. You are in sync with the physical universe and nature. There is more than just boundary setting to reach this place, but boundaries are where this process can begin.
Level 4 – Expanded Boundaries
Continue to increase defining what is no longer acceptable around you, whether it is people, places or things. Don’t start making ultimatums or being dictatorial; give people a chance to learn and honor your newly expanded boundaries. Think of the shoring up you do as you tunnel through a mountain – if you don’t shore up what you’ve already accomplished, it will crash down behind you!
Level 3 – Set Basic Boundaries
A boundary is an arbitrary, but personal, line you draw around yourself to filter out the words, actions, space and behavior of others. You must be willing to set bigger boundaries than you think you need, want or deserve in order to live an extraordinary life.
Level 2 – Choose To Set Boundaries
Courage is required as you carve out part of who you are by choosing to set boundaries. In the process you may resist, be frightened, don’t know if you should or could set boundaries, and are concerned about consequences.
Level 1 – Victim
Doormat; someone who gets juice (albeit painfully) from being hurt by others or situations; becomes a life-style and identity.
Copyright 1995 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.