S:1252 Distinction: Attract vs. Make Happen

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) There is plenty of satisfaction to be received from making things happen. You can get your emotional needs met, accomplish meaningful outcomes, prove your self-worth, and stand out from the pack by bowing your back and taking…Continue Reading →

S:1247 Distinction: Agree vs. Admit

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) Admit has a sense of wrongdoing; a confession; a coming clean. One admits to a crime. Probably useful in many situations but notice there’s a bit of less-than in admitting. When I admit something to you, I…Continue Reading →

S:1243 Distinction: Persist vs. Force

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) A prime source of problems is Trying To Force An Outcome. If you enjoy solving problems, then spend your time forcing outcomes and you’ll have a steady supply! Many problems appear to come from the outside, but…Continue Reading →

S:1237 Distinction: A Value vs. A Need

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) This is a particularly useful Distinction when looking into basic human motivations. We show up, perform, and achieve outcomes for different reasons and with a range of motivations. One of the most important is the set of…Continue Reading →

S:1233 Distinction: To Connect vs. To Network

S:1233 Distinction: To Connect vs. To Network(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) [The very first S3MC was delivered August 2nd, 1995, at the beginning of a weekly meeting of a business networking group in Dallas (CEO Network). As I explained in the introduction…Continue Reading →

S:1231 Distinction: Quarrel vs. Fight

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) When we quarrel each tries to appeal to the other with logic, facts, reason, and context. Quarreling is a useful way to learn and grow for each person. A ridged, hidebound, unmoving position can be softened by…Continue Reading →

S:1224 Distinction: Get Over It vs. Cover It Over

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) We have a conditioned response to avoid pain, or at least minimize it. This can cause us to mask it, Cover It Over with something more pleasant. The problem with the ‘cover up’ job is that the…Continue Reading →

S:1222 Distinction: Questions vs. Answers

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) One might not immediately think that Questions and Answers would be poles of a Distinction. But they are and they are heavily influenced by…Sherlock Holmes. [Yes, I know he is a fictional character of Arthur Conan Doyle,…Continue Reading →

S:1218 Distinction: New Mattress vs. New Sheets

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) New sheets are a simple way to freshen up a bed. Of course. But if the mattress is worn out, putting new sheets on it won’t improve your sleep. Yet that’s exactly what we do sometimes: we…Continue Reading →

S:1212 Distinction: Differentiation vs. Separation

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.) Your hand is different from your foot, but each are parts of you. They are different, but not separate from you. A leaf is different from the bark, but both are parts of a tree and not…Continue Reading →

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