S:0147 Distinction: Living to Win vs. Living to Not Lose

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


Humans have a built-in desire t maximize pleasure and minimize pain. This desire to move away from painful stuff and toward pleasurable stuff is not “learned” behavior, but rather is built in as a survival mechanism, it’s automatic.

It’s useful to look at your motivations and see what you’re about.

You can use (and have been using) this away-from and towards energy to improve the circumstances of your life. There are many places where you do actions because they make you feel great. That’s a towards motivation.

Notice there other times you do things, because, if you didn’t, the pain would be higher than doing it. An example is paying your taxes; it may be painful to pay them but the consequence of not paying them could be even more painful.

Living to win is a “toward” approach to life. Living to not lose is an “away-from” approach.


Coaching Point: Which are you most of the time?


Copyright 1998 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.