(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)
Humans have a built-in desire t maximize pleasure and minimize pain. This desire to move away from painful stuff and toward pleasurable stuff is not “learned” behavior, but rather is built in as a survival mechanism, it’s automatic.
It’s useful to look at your motivations and see what you’re about.
You can use (and have been using) this away-from and towards energy to improve the circumstances of your life. There are many places where you do actions because they make you feel great. That’s a towards motivation.
Notice there other times you do things, because, if you didn’t, the pain would be higher than doing it. An example is paying your taxes; it may be painful to pay them but the consequence of not paying them could be even more painful.
Living to win is a “toward” approach to life. Living to not lose is an “away-from” approach.
Coaching Point: Which are you most of the time?
Copyright 1998 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.