(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


When you are indebted to someone your are, in some way, obligated to them. Perhaps they did something for you and you feel a need to pay them back. An old business development technique that was actually taught was for you to give someone a business lead so they would feel obligated to give one back to you, to balance their “account” with you. It was an effective technique, but it was just that, a technique, and it had a high mental and emotional cost.

Today, a preferred approach is to get to know someone so well that you help them because you want to. Using the above business lead example, you will give leads to someone to whom you feel loyal because it feels good for you to help them. There is little or no cost to you and you are not sitting around waiting for them to “pay you back”. You got paid in the doing.

Loyalty is a choice, a want-to. It comes from the heart. Indebtedness comes from the head, it’s a have-to.

Spend your time developing loyalty and you can be free of indebtedness forever.


Copyright 1999 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.