(An unmet Need causes us to feel empty, incomplete or less than whole. Fulfilling a Need gives us freedom to be ourselves.)
This need has fueled more arguments than perhaps any other need.
The NEED to be right is different from BEING right. When looked at from their point of view everyone is already right. Even if they believe the sky is down, they’re right, from their point of view. (Humm, which way IS down to an orbiting astronaut?)
The need to be right causes you to dig in your heels, get angry, raise your voice or feel threatened. It’s not even about the issue being discussed. It’s simply about getting your need met. Without the need getting met you feel somehow diminished, weakened or made wrong.
If you somehow win the argument and are proven right, the best you can feel is temporary relief, even through you may think you feel great. Why? Because the feeling is brief and soon you are on the hunt to prove yourself right once again.
Of course this need is easy to recognize in others! But it’s hard to see in oneself.
When the need to be right is fully healed you rarely argue. In fact you are free to see the rightness in other points of view and even learn from them.
Copyright 2000 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.