(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)
It seems that most people enjoy having a feeling of being connected to others. At least they enjoy it more than feeling isolated and alone!
You are connected when you share values with another. When there is an equal flow of energy. When you are a part of the growth and development of another and they you. At its core, then, connection is a natural state of a healthy relationship.
Something different is going on when you are attached. Attachment is based on you getting some need met, that is, you need something from another and you will cling to them until you get it. Attachment is an unequal flow of energy. There can be a dominant/submissive relationship.
Connected is a high-five; attached is a grasping hold.
Connected is feeling part of; attached is feeling separate from.
Connected is interdevelopmental; attached is co-dependent.
Connected is comfortable with; attached is fear of losing.
Copyright 2000 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.