(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


If you are someone who does the “should’s” of your life consistently and effectively, congratulations. Most — no, nearly all — people will not do should’s for long.

“I should not eat that.” “I should do my work first, then play.” “I should get over that person leaving me.” “I should get out of bed and go work out.” “I should sell.”

Should’s are always pain-based and we humans aren’t wired to want to experience pain. We are wired to want to minimize pain. Want-to’s have the opposite energy of should’s. Want-to’s are pleasure-based, joy-based. We humans are wired to maximize pleasure. (Don’t go off on a tangent about “bad” pleasures. That’s a separate topic.)

Use the strong, natural energy of want-to’s to pull you past the sticking points. When you get stuck and the only resource you have is a should ask yourself, “what are the payoffs, the benefits of doing this activity?” When you start to feel, see, hear, smell and taste the imagined benefits, the want-to’s, they will pull you past the should. Much stronger. And sustainable.


Copyright 2001 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.