(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)
The phrase “in control” has several meanings. It is used here to describe a manipulating, heavy-handed approach to managing and leading. At its core it is fear-based. When you feel you must control others you are skeptical of their ability to perform and fear they will let you down or damage you in some way. Since things must be “just so” you may frequently find yourself having to rush in and “do it yourself.”
A person who is healthily in charge is comfortable guiding others rather than manipulating them. As an in charge person you are first in charge of yourself. You know your strengths and weaknesses. You know what is important. You know your values and you have handled most of the things which used to drive you. People look up to leaders who are comfortably in charge and have accepted responsibility. They feel trusted and look forward to delegation.
Trying to control can get out of control. And it s tiring.
Grow yourself — and others — so you can be in charge.
Copyright 2002 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.