(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

You can have many reasons for being the way you are. Stuff happens, you act, results occur. Some of the results may not be pleasant. You may even be at the effect of the actions of others and that can supply plenty of reasons.

But you don’t have a right to be the way your are. Reasons, yes. Right, no.

To have a right to be a certain way implies that it’s not your fault, ‘they’ did it to you, it was just bad luck, etc. When you feel you have a right to be a certain way it means you have succumbed to the situation and can assign blame elsewhere. That is a position of powerlessness.

When you can look at the reasons you are where you are it puts you in a position of power so you can begin to change things.

Coaching Point: What are your reasons?

Copyright 2004 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.