(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

Think of someone who is conceited. They act stuck-up, perhaps even snobbish. They may give off an air of disdainful superiority and appear patronizing. They can be cocky, condescending, and pretentious. These are the attributes of someone who is prideful.

Contrast that with someone who demonstrates a quiet confidence, who is pleased and rightly self-satisfied. These are the feelings and attributes of a person who is proud of themselves and their accomplishments.

When you are proud of yourself you are internally-referenced. Your sense of satisfaction comes from having self-respect. You don’t need anything from the outside to feel good about yourself and your accomplishments. You feel strong.

A prideful person is externally-referenced. He or she needs others to notice — and give them feedback about — their accomplishments. They feel weak or shaky.

Copyright 2004 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.