S:0493 Distinction: Separate vs.Reject

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

 

Have you ever been around young teenagers? If so, you may have noticed that at that age they start to assert their independence. They do this by pulling away from their family unit. This is a normal part of the maturation process. They are only separating, not rejecting.

Other relationships in your life will also go through stages. [This distinction is about friendships, not spouses; that s a far different topic!] When one of them pulls back from you it may feel like rejection. Look at it closely; it may only be a separation due to changing interests or geography.

Rejection feels personal. And it may be. Separation is not personal. Be careful not to mistake one for the other.

 

Coaching Point: How do you help someone realize you are only separating, not rejecting them?

 

Copyright 2005 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.