(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


“Should be” is an interesting energy. When you think something should be a certain way; when you know what should be; when you build your life and actions around what should be; you cut off your access to other viewpoints and resources. Should be is an inward focused energy. It comes from your assessment only; you simply “know how things should be.” And even if you are correct, should be is an isolating place to come from.

Could be encompasses all that should be does plus is open to additional awarenesses. Could be speaks to possibility. It attracts resources. It engages others. Could be is open. It includes the joy of discovery. You will consistently get better outcomes with could be than you will with should be.


Coaching Point: The next time you catch yourself with your jaw clamped, determined to make sure something happens a certain way, stop and ask yourself if you are caught up in a should be. If so, what has to happen to shift into the energy of could be?


Copyright 2005 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.