S:0568 Distinction: Present vs. Lost

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


Notice how a child experiences a new toy. They have a sense of wonder and delight. They don t know what it is or how it works, but they re not afraid they will make a mistake or get it wrong. And they feel no judgement from others. The child is simply present with the toy, experiencing it fully.

An adult in a new environment frequently acts quite differently. When presented with a new “toy” (job, relationship, neighborhood, culture), you may have found yourself feeling that there is something you need learn, to know, to get right. Even if you don t completely freeze up, you may at least feel uncomfortable and uncertain. That doubt can lead to a sense of feeling lost.

Lost is about “something I need is not here” and that means you are being other than present. Noticing that you feel lost is a trigger you can use to shift back into the present, where you can deal with things with inquisitiveness, wonder, and delight.


Coaching Point: How would your life be different if you spent more of your time in the present — amused, interested, learning, delighted?


Copyright 2006 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.