S:0602 Distinction: Nice vs. Wimpy

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


The old saying “Nice guys finish last” has lost its truth. Today, when you ask people “With whom do you like to do business?” the answer “Someone nice” is usually near the top of the list. Whether provider or customer, it seems most people want to do business with people they like and nice is more likable than harsh, pushy, irritating, or annoying.

But to be nice doesn’t mean to be a pushover. You can be nice and still be firm, still require high standards of performance. Some seem to think that in order to be nice you have to give in and give up, that you have to be weak and ineffectual. Not so, that’s wimpy. Wimpy is being wishy-washy, lacking in confidence.

You can be nice while getting exactly what you want. How? By first getting your own emotional needs met and your fears handled. Blustering, abusive, frowning, loud people are frequently doing so to mask their own inner fears. Work on your personal foundation. Clean up your emotional baggage. Get clear about who you are and what you stand for.

Today, being nice in your dealings with others shows you have confidence and inner strength. Nice is effective and attractive.


Coaching Point: Make a list of the people in your life who are nice and effective. What are some of their attributes which you have, also?


Copyright 2007 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.