(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


When you tolerate you are putting up with a situation which is not the way you want it to be — and there is some level of upset about it for you. There is nearly always some judging. Maybe even a tinge of anger. “You’re wrong, but I’ll tolerate it,” may be your unspoken thought.

Allowing is different. The situation may be the same; something may not be as you would prefer it; but when you are allowing there is an absence of judging. “I allow you to be who you are,” a neutral view.

Your values, standards, beliefs, and desires are the same when you allow as when you tolerate. Allowing does not mean you agree with everything; you may choose to separate yourself from the situation. The difference for you is how you process internally.

When you allow, you stand in a neutral energy place ready to respond and move forward, absent the wasted energy of judging.

When you tolerate you get caught up in I’m Right, You’re Wrong, which will slow your progress.


Coaching Point: Is it easy for you to allow?


Copyright 2009 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.