(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)


Joy? In feeling verbally attacked? Why on Earth would you want that?

Consider this, when under attack you feel doubted, made wrong, challenged, ridiculed, scorned, or any number of other negative feelings. The only reason you would feel that way is because, at some level, you resonate with the attack. If you didn’t, you would have no reaction at all.

If you buy into a viewpoint espoused by an attacker, have a reaction and feel attacked, then there is something in you which agrees with, or thinks you should agree with, your attacker. Reaction — agreement. No reaction — no agreement.

This Principle, then, is about using a feeling of being attacked as a marker to show you something you have not yet resolved about yourself. Rather than simply taking the attack and remaining stuck there, you can use the feelings that are evoked to start an internal inquiry of your own stuff.

“Wow, I’m really reacting to what he/she just said. What’s that about….in me?”

Rather than being a victim of their opinion you can discover a piece about yourself. Self-awareness leads to improvement. Come to the point where you revel in how their attacks show you new clarity and open the door for increased flexibility.


Coaching Point: As you reflect back on a recent attack, what did you learn about yourself?


Copyright 2010 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.