(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)


This S3MC is not for people who are always disagreeable! They are familiar with the behavior and don’t need help becoming more so. This S3MC is for the rest.

To avoid being disagreeable we too often go-along- to-get-along. It seems easier to agree, or at least remain silent. Some folks just don’t like conflict.

Other reasons to not disagree are: we don’t know enough; we feel inferior to the other person; or we’re a great believer in teamwork-and-everybody- pulling-together. Valid reasons all, although limiting.

But if you don’t disagree — never mind actually being disagreeable — then you may be allowing yourself to be controlled by external forces. What’s that about?

It’s almost always about your internal programming/ conditioning, such as: “Be respectful of your elders.” “Good girls don’t.” “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything.” “Who asked for your opinion?”

It’s great that you have your programming, your standards of behavior. It’s important that you be authentically yourself. But if you let your unexamined internal programming rule, you run the risk of not making useful contributions.

Why make this about being disagreeable rather than simply about disagreeing? It’s because by pushing your behavior all the way to the point where you are willing to be disagreeable, you will discover your truth. Then you are at choice about your behavior. That’s freedom. And, by the way, you may never have to actually be disagreeable. It’s the willing-to part that counts.


Coaching Point: If you don’t express your point of view, who will?


Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.