(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


Two very different thoughts are contained in this Distinction. Each resides on the opposite side of the sweet spot in the middle.

You’ve probably been told to always choose ‘positive’ thoughts. I certainly encourage that. Thoughts about what you want, versus what you don’t want, put and keep you in a place of healthy expectation.

Thinking ‘negative’ thoughts keep you feeling fearful and uncertain. Not a place of power nor of strength. The expectation is of some kind of discomfort.

I write most Distinctions to illuminate subtle differences which can have big effects. This Distinction, however, is to point out that either side you take misses the point that the sweet spot is to take neither side. Why? Because of the possibility of having an attachment to the outcome.

Expectation is a bear. It will bite you. Expectation leads to attachment. An attachment [as covered in other S3MC’s] occurs when you need the outcome in order to feel okay. It’s about living in the future. Playing when/then.

The healthiest approach is to discover what you desire, think about it happening, perhaps even put plans in place to facilitate it, and maybe take actions toward it. Then release it. Don’t let an attachment gel around the outcome.

By the way I will continue to choose to have ‘positive, this-is-what-I-desire’ thoughts. They are a lot more fun and uplifting than the other kind. I just won’t be attached to the outcomes actually occurring.


Coaching Point: A really good way to play with this Distinction is to look at the people in your life and observe — are they radiating might or probably won’t? Which energy do you want to hang around? Which do you want to radiate?


Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.