(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


True desire is quite different from a lot of other things which get (mistakenly) called desire. Desire is a natural and useful part of the human condition. Nothing has ever been created in this world without first an emotion-based thought, a desire.

The confusion around desire is mostly because desire is not about pain. You and I will do more to avoid or minimize pain than we will to maximize pleasure. Desire is about pleasure.

Needs — and wants, wishes, requirements, shoulds — are about pain. There is the sense that something is ‘off’ ‘missing’ ‘wrong’ or ‘ill’ and must be fixed before you can be whole. Needs can override desires. Needs can masquerade as desires.

Here’s a check list to determine which is in play:

Desire pulls. Needs drive. Desire guides. Needs just want away from. Desire is from your inner-most being. Needs are from your egoic mind. Desire is soft and encouraging. Needs are loud and demanding.

The shortest path to discovering your true desires, and living them, is to get your needs met. Handle your past. Clean up your fears. Get help resolving your barriers.

As that noisy, painful stuff diminishes, your desires will become obvious. They will serve as your guide to living the life you came here to live.


Coaching Point: What true desire have you been ignoring?


Copyright 2012 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.