(Great fears are barriers to experiencing your real life.)
This Great Fear is built into humans, it’s not learned behavior. Oh, the expression of it is learned, and demonstrated uniquely by each person, but the essence of the fear is from a wiring level. It comes from our DNA.
You and I are designed to desire to be free, to be self-determining. That’s as much a part of you as the desire (requirement, really) to breathe. The phrase “The desire to breathe free” is a simple expression of how powerfully freedom is built into the human condition.
One (of many) ways to see this in action is to notice that most forms of punishment are varying degrees of restriction of freedom. A fine for a traffic infraction is an economic form of restriction of freedom. A probated jail sentence is a higher form. Incarceration is greater still. Solitary confinement more so. Restriction of freedom equals punishment.
Of course, the restriction of freedom a parent puts on a child is not generally a punishment, but rather a way to protect them from harm as they learn and grow. And, yes, sometimes a punishment!
One reason someone might restrict your freedom is to increase theirs. Freedom and power over others is an eternal push-pull of human interaction.
When your freedom is impinged, or even threatened, you naturally recoil. Use that feeling to notice that it may be time for you to take action to restore your freedom.
Coaching Point: Notice how good you feel when you experience your most compelling freedom?
Copyright 2013 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.