S:0923 Principle: Confidence

(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)

 

Confidence feels pretty good, doesn’t it? A warm, things-are-possible, enjoyable, moving forward, free kind of feeling. Here are two aspects of confidence.

First, how do you get or have confidence? Surprisingly it’s not about learning stuff; confidence is not about knowledge. Sure, it always helps to learn and understand, that’s a common topic here in S3MC, but learning about confidence does not cause it, it must be experienced.

The two great experiential teachers of confidence are — successes and failures. In other words, feedback. The feedback which comes from actions attempted. You either got what you wanted (aka success) or you didn’t (aka failure). The more your actions lead to what you want the more you gain confidence in a particular area. Paying attention to the feedback, rather than judging yourself, quickens your journey up the confidence curve.

Second, what keeps us from gaining and feeling confidence? It’s the part of the above mentioned feedback which has been labeled as ‘failure.’

For most people, aided by a culture’s focus on being number 1, failure (not being numero uno) is too painful to contemplate, so no attempt is made. Thus, no confidence is developed. Some people seem to live by a no-try-no-cry model.

The more you focus on the powerful and beneficial effect of confidence, the more you’ll try, the more feedback you’ll get, the more pleasing outcomes you’ll experience, the more confidence you’ll develop. Then you discover that confidence is a marvelous, clean, uplifting source of energy.

 

Coaching Point: Do you pause from time to time to experience, even wallow in, the feeling of confidence?

 

Copyright 2013 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.