(Great fears are barriers to experiencing your real life.)


Control is an interesting concept. Thinking you have control over anything is to have one of the most common of beliefs. Nearly everywhere you look there are messages that you should be in control — of your behavior, of situations, of others, of outcomes, even control over life itself.

It is the belief that you can control which causes this Great Fear, the fear of a loss of control.

Life is uncertain. There is no guarantee of the next moment. Momentum? Maybe. Probability? Possibly. Projections based on the past? Yes. All these are good and useful thoughts. But they are only thoughts and because we know, at a deep level, of the uncertainty of the future, we fear it won’t happen just the way we want. Thus the powerful need to control it. Thus the fear of losing control.

It is this fear which drives us to try ever more thoroughly to overcome the fear by attempting ever more vigorously to control the future, knowing all along that it won’t work!

The fear of the future drives the attempt to control which refines the fear which escalates the control, and so on.

Detaching from the future and living fully in Now is a hallmark of happy, successful, engaged, contributing, growing, participating people who are fun to be around.


Coaching Point: What do you suppose will happen when you no longer need to live with the illusion of control?


Copyright 2014 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.