(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


Children, in learning how their world works, will frequently perform in order to get feedback. The process of doing so places the source of their information outside of them. “How’m I doing?” is their implied, or stated, question. They are focused on proving themselves to others and to themselves.

All in all, a useful process. For children, who are still learning some of the big chunks of life. For adults, not so much.

Adults, trying to prove themselves over and over, are using an expensive way to travel life’s journey. Of course, when it works, proving yourself does have its payoffs, its rewards and juice. Those are some of the reasons we do it, but at the cost of fear, uncertainty, and doubt that we will not get what we seek.

The costs are compounded when the one you are trying to prove yourself to is . . . yourself. Ouch!

Spending the same amount of energy learning who you really are, what you value, why you’re here, and what brings you happiness, results in a deep sense of Self-awareness.

When you know your Self you can simply Be Yourself. That doesn’t cost at all. It pays.


Coaching Point: When do you most experience being yourself?


Copyright 2016 Steve Straus. All rights reserved