S:1138 Distinction: Reconciled vs. Resigned

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

 

Resigned can have a sense of loss, less-than, let-down, give-up, and sadness. Whatever it is you wanted didn’t come to pass, now looks like it won’t ever, and that missing-the-boat feeling isn’t great. While it’s always a good idea to let go of attachments, when that letting go results in experiencing loss it’s not fun.

To reconcile is to accept the truth of what-is-so, right now, the present; it is a place of strength and flexibility. You become clear-eyed and see possibilities you wouldn’t if you were still mired in the disappointment of the missing.

To be resigned is to lament. It’s energy-draining.

To reconcile frees you to focus on the future. It’s energy-giving.

 

Coaching Point: Dragging the incomplete past around is expensive. What would happen if you were to reconcile it and let it go?

 

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