(Great fears are barriers to experiencing your real life.)

[There are countless fears, yet few are of the level of the Great Fears. A Great Fear is noted by its commonness and its effect; it shows up in a large part of society and can have a numbing effect on one’s happiness.]

 

Isn’t it interesting that unhappiness is a byproduct of having one of the Great Fears and that fearing being unhappy is one of the Great Fears? Sounds like circular logic and in a way it is. But maybe it’s also enlightening.

First, know that there is nothing wrong with being unhappy. It happens. It will arise from time to time. This Great Fear is not about trying to always be happy. It’s about fearing being unhappy.

A reason for identifying and naming any fear is because each is a little prison, a little loss of freedom. (Or maybe not so little!) Resolving each fear provides more freedom. That freedom payoff is why it’s worth the work.

To fear being unhappy can show up in our busy-ness – watching TV while playing Words With Friends (if that’s still a ‘thing’) while having a conversation with someone while having thoughts about what might happen tomorrow. For example. You can think of other ways you see people fill every moment. What is it about silent stillness which is so uncomfortable?

If you fear being unhappy, first look at your sources of happiness, internal or external.

If they are external to you (house, spouse, title, bank balance, how you look, how you cook, etc.) then of course you will fear being unhappy because anything external can be removed in an instant. The outside cannot make you happy.

Second, look inside to see what programs/memories/mental conditioning are upsetting and threatening to your happiness. The past can arise and with it unhappiness. Becoming emotionally overwhelmed by the past could certainly be an unhappy experience.

You’ll fear being unhappy a lot less when you resolve your internal stuff and quit relying on the external to ‘make’ you happy.

 

Coaching Point: Where do you consistently find happiness?

 

Copyright 2017 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.