(Great fears are barriers to experiencing your real life.)

A fear of loss can have at least two major ways it diminishes your freedom, your happiness. First is the constriction you feel about losing something you have.

A classic example is inherited wealth. There are plenty of case histories showing 2nd and 3rd generations who end up losing it. These are the ones who received the wealth, but didn’t also learn how it was earned or how to use it to earn more. All they could do was try to retain it, defend it, and in the process of focusing on fearing its loss, loose it. Only an open hand sips water from a stream; the tightly closed fist comes up ‘dry’.

Another effect of fearing loss is even more pernicious. It’s when we don’t ask for what we want because, if we get it, we then might lose it. That imagined loss is more painful than the pleasure we imagine the ‘having it’ will bring. Shakespeare said it this way, “Our doubts are traitors And make us lose the good we oft might win By fearing to attempt.”

Think of not having a pet dog (or cat/gerbil/parrot/etc.) because it will not live as long as you. The fear of (future) loss can override the (current) joy the pet can bring you.

Fearing loss is a story, made up and projected onto the screen of the future. Use the tools readily available to change the story. Live fearlessly.

Coaching Point: What is a fear of loss which is bugging you now?

Copyright 2019 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.