S:1235 Personal Need: To Be Somebody

(An unmet Need causes us to feel empty, incomplete or less than whole. Fulfilling a Need gives us freedom to be ourselves.)


A ‘Somebody’ is rare and stands out. They have impact. They tend to be looked up to, respected, even envied. People want to be them.

To need to be a Somebody is different. The person who has this Need is trying to get an empty place filled. That empty place is inside them. Somehow it didn’t get satisfied during their development. The emptiness of a Need has a level of pain, from a little to a lot.

When someone is not content with who they are, not clear about their place in the world, unsure of their journey, they can try to get the outside to supply what feels missing on the inside.

When we legitimately are Somebody we are granted (for example) recognition, admiration, acknowledgement, approval. We receive credit for our accomplishments. We are sought out and asked to be included. As Somebody we may even be well compensated for our special contributions. Certainly able to enjoy whatever occurs, a real Somebody doesn’t need the outside in order to feel fulfilled.

It’s true that the need To Be Somebody has been the driving motivator behind many wonderful outcomes. But it is so expensive. And somewhat fearful since you are dependent on the outside continuing to supply what helps you feel okay.

The kicker to this is – you already are somebody! Unique in all the universe and through all time. There is no other You. You are Somebody.


Coaching Point: What if you can Be Somebody without having the Need to be Somebody?


Copyright 2019 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.