S:1243 Distinction: Persist vs. Force

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

A prime source of problems is Trying To Force An Outcome. If you enjoy solving problems, then spend your time forcing outcomes and you’ll have a steady supply! Many problems appear to come from the outside, but you – through the act of forcing – are the true source.

Forcing is not useful, being persistent is. When you are persistent you’re engaged, in action, you want the outcome. So how is that different from forcing? Attachment.

Being attached to an outcome means the outcome is expected to deliver some sense of self-worth, identity, or meaning to your life. When…then… is the game in play. Attachment and its forcing behavior cause a narrowing awareness of options and resources. Tunnel vision.

Persistence says “try this, then try that” to see what works. If not getting the desired outcome doing what they’re doing, a persistent person will shift. The person forcing an outcome will tend to dig in their heels and push even more – at what’s not working.

While a forcer bangs on a wall harder a persistent person shifts down the wall, around the corner and discovers an open door!

Coaching Point: Did you get this message when you were growing up or did you only hear that winners win by working harder?

Copyright 2019 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.