S:1322 Distinction: Are vs. Supposed To Be

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


The answer to the question ‘Who are you?’ is … who you are. Hold on, don’t roll your eyes just yet.

Most people have a desire to be accepted, therefore answering the ‘who are you’ question with an answer they think will show them in a good light, thus accepted. In other words, their answer is about who they think they are supposed to be. As they interact with different people their answer may change. ‘Supposed to be’ has no foundation.

Who you are is who you are. If you are fortunate enough to have done the work to discover your authentic nature – your values, beliefs, certainties, fears, warts, doubts, and so on – then you can express it, live it, not apologize for it. That does not mean be arrogant, unyielding, or egotistical. It simply means being who you are.

It’s okay to work to win others over. Just not at the expense of pretending to be something else, which is really expensive.


Coaching Point: Who are you?


Copyright 2021 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.