(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


This Distinction emerged, like many S3MC topics, from recent experience. In this case I’ve had a major change in my life which points out the difference in the two sides of this distinction.

Living in the past means to be living back in what was, taking time from today. Wishing, regretting, lamenting, ‘if only’, sigh, regrets. Visit the past, sure, but too much time there steals from the possibilities of the present.

Living with the past means that what was so (the past) has informed who you are today. Your past has provided some of the building blocks of your current foundation. You are the expressed sum of what has brought you to now. That past, infused in today adds to today’s richness.

Visiting the past to acknowledge its contributions? – probably healthy.

Living in the past wistfully wishing it were so now? – probably only a drain on the energy of your present.


Coaching Point: Is it time to move on? With respect and love for what was, immersed in today?


Copyright 2021 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.