(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

Since writing this same Distinction many years ago [S:0478] an additional important attribute has been observed – the distinction has a binary nature. By binary I mean you are either in one mode or the other; there is no sliding scale; no dial; no kinda. Confident and arrogant are mutually exclusive.

Confident is rooted in…just what it is, confidence. It radiates from within. There is no ‘fake it till you make it’. It has a calmness, a peaceful strength. It requires no buy-in nor agreement from the outside.

The same is not true with arrogance. With it you are demonstrating a lack of confidence and attempting to cover it with a fake air. At a deep level you know you don’t know; you just don’t want ‘them’ to catch on. There are probably one or more unresolved Needs driving arrogant behavior – the need to be right/seen as smart/in the know/etc.

You really want to root out and identify the source(s) of arrogance. The good news is they are all resolvable. Once they are handled you will cease to radiate the off-putting energy of arrogance.

Instead, as you effortlessly radiate the energy of confidence notice the wonderful things you attract. A confident person is an attractive person.

Coaching Point: Confidence, real core confidence, feels pretty good, doesn’t it?

Copyright 2021 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.