(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)

 

You may know people who are judgmental. Somewhere along the way you may have been judged by them yourself. If you have, you know how it feels. When someone is judged there is an implied or stated opinion that they are bad, less-than or wrong. This “make wrong” is the basis of the negative feelings associated with being judged.

When you observe you may notice all the same facts, but the “make wrong” is absent. You can observe anything without passing judgement on it, but you have to want to because it can be hard to learn.

There are several benefits for you when you become an observer rather than a judger. First it takes a lot less energy. Second, it frees you to be a more accurate observer. Finally, it is a subtly attractive trait because people are turned off by judgmental behavior.

 

Copyright 2000 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.