S:0754 Distinction: To Best vs. To Beat

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)


There is winning and losing, but in the winning, there is being better than them or there is beating them. Being better than, or besting, is a different energy than beating. Each is a choice.

When you beat someone you have trounced them, beat them up, crushed them, pounded them, worked them over, or annihilated them. To beat someone includes the idea, the energy, that they are now proven to be less than you. Your focus is on them. Many places in life you see this viewpoint and that is unlikely to change.

But if you look, you can also see situations where winners have a different attitude. They look at their victories through the lens of their own performance. It’s personal. They see the result of a contest as a chance to revel in how well they did, appreciating the win, grateful for the outcome, joyous in their victory. They have been best.

To best is about you. To beat is about the other.

To best or to beat is a choice you get to make in every competition. You may find that enjoying being best has a longer and more satisfying taste than beating.

Notice that you also have the same choice when it is you who have come out on the short end of a competition. You can choose to feel bested or you can choose to feel beaten. The choice you make tells a lot about how you view life.


Coaching Point: Have you seen any examples of each of these lately?


Copyright 2010 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.