S:0944 Principle: Regrets

(Principles are basic truths that, when applied, cause success to come to you easier and quicker.)


Nearly everybody has experienced regrets. They have their useful parts, but also a big cost. First, some of the useful.

Remembering an experience which has an embedded regret is a way to change your current behavior so the former outcome doesn’t recur. Paying attention to a regret is a way to learn. Pain is a powerful teacher.

Another benefit of experiencing a regret is to remind us to make amends for previous transgressions. A regret can lead to a clean up.

You can probably think of additional uses of regrets. The bigger point is that regrets also have a high cost.

They drag you out of the present, the only real place. The past is a mental construct. It’s not real. Oh, it may feel real, particularly when you’re in the grip of a regret and feel like you’re there again. But there is only the nameless Now. Where you are. Here. That’s your place of real strength.

This is not to suggest you try to erase your past or deny it or bury it. Your past happened. Since we’re none of us perfect you probably didn’t behave perfectly in your past. You may have a regret or two about that. The pain of a regret can keep you from visiting your past and including your past in your present.

Fortunately there are, today, simple, quick, and powerful ways to resolve the energy associated with a regret-filled memory. With the energy released the memory is still there but no longer has a grip on you. Then you can include the richness of your past in your present without the emotional reaction of a regret.


Coaching Point: What is your biggest regret? What would your life be like without it?


Copyright 2013 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.