S:1255 Great Question: Forgiven?

(Great questions lead to great answers; weak questions, weak ones.)


“What have I not forgiven?”


Coaching Point: Much has been written about forgiving and forgiveness. There’s a reason. Holding onto resentments, hurts, anger, pride, griefs, you know, the stuff which happens in the course of a normal life, all that stuff, if unforgiven, has a cost.

They have plenty of payoffs, too. The ‘juice’ we get when we recall and review and relive a past hurt can cause a flare of emotion, a distraction from an unpleasant present, a hunk of motivation, even.

And that’s the loop we get grooved into. The dangling past lurks unseen, something happens which taps into it, the flare of reaction hits, the juice is generated, gets absorbed, the past recedes, waiting for the next time. A loop.

Ask yourself:

What is the cost to me of this reactive life?

Who would I be without this reaction to the past?

What would I do with the freed-up energy?

When the benefit/cost ratio tilts enough you can then forgive the past/others/events…or yourself.

Forgiveness then becomes something you do for you, not something you ‘should’ do to ‘be a better person.’

What have you not forgiven?



Copyright 2019 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.