(An unmet Need causes us to feel empty, incomplete, or less than whole. Fulfilling a Need gives us freedom to be ourselves.)


There is nothing wrong – and much right – with being respected. To have earned the respect of your family, friends, and peers is a delightful part of life. Respect lubricates connections.

It’s having a neediness to be respected which is the tricky bit.

A need exists when there is a sense of incompletion within, a hole in your wholeness if you will. Feels like a ‘missing.’ If somewhere along your life journey you didn’t receive the respect you wanted – especially if it had a sting to it – you may now need it in order to be okay.

To feel whole, grounded, clear, comfortable with yourself is wonderful. Like you can accomplish anything. To be needy for respect causes you to radiate a different kind of energy.

To get this need filled permanently, ask. People who love you will express their respect for you until you no longer need it. A few days, or weeks, is all it takes. And be prepared to hear them say they respect you for being strong enough to ask!

You can also do some inner work with a few self-awareness techniques and heal the hole on your own quickly. Either way, freedom from a neediness means you are no longer dependent on the outside for some of your happiness.


Coaching Point: It’s one thing to recognize the need for expressions of respect from others – do you also have respect for yourself?


Copyright 2020 Steve Straus. All rights reserved.