(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value, or attitude.)


This is a subtle Distinction that could have a huge impact. The difference between these two words is in the energy that resides in each.

To want an outcome, any outcome, is natural for anyone. Feeling the draw it has on you while imagining living in the outcome is uplifting and healthy. We seem wired to lean into What’s Next? Some would call it creation in action. Evolution.

Wantingness is a very different thing. It stems from “I don’t have.” About feeling a missing, lack, not enough. The focus of wantingness is about an absence-of.

Wanting lifts and draws you toward an outcome.

Wantingness drives you away from the pain of not having.

Sitting quietly with any thought for a moment reveals its motivation. You can sense its energy, whether it draws you toward or drives you away.

By the way, wanting an outcome but having no attachment to getting it is a very advanced way of living. Freeing.

See also S:0990 and S:1312. Each add depth to this Distinction.


Coaching Point: What do you want and why do you want it?


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