S:0605 Distinction: I Do That vs. I Knew That

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   When was the last time you heard an idea and thought, “I knew that”? You took a class, or read a book, or listened to an audio program and got a bunch of new plans, actions, […]

S:0604 Distinction: Desirable vs. Reasonable

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   What do you really desire? Is it reasonable? There seems to be some confusion around these two topics, desire and reason. A long-time style of goal setting teaches that there are several basic components of an […]

S:0602 Distinction: Nice vs. Wimpy

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   The old saying “Nice guys finish last” has lost its truth. Today, when you ask people “With whom do you like to do business?” the answer “Someone nice” is usually near the top of the list. […]

S:0600 Distinction: Breakthrough Goal vs. Incremental Goal

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   To have and accomplish goals makes life better. Why? Because when you decide what you want and go for it and achieve it, you just won.(The goals described here are ones you choose, not “shoulds” imposed […]

S:0599 Distinction: Important vs. Personal

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   Are there important things you need to do or have done? And do you ever take it personally? Most people answer “yes” to both questions because they’ve got them collapsed together. Pulling them apart will clarify […]

S:0596 Distinction: Internal vs. External

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   Having an internal frame of reference is totally different from having an external one. The phrase “frame of reference” refers to where you put your attention. When you reference externally you get your sense of Self […]

S:0594 Distinction: Feedback vs. Failure

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   Nobody likes to fail; it feels yucky. Failure is the reaction you have when something doesn’t turn out the way you wanted or expected it to. Notice the word “reaction” in that sentence. Failure is not […]

S:0592 Distinction: Breathe vs. Bury

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   Stuff happens. Some of it is stuff we don’t like, wish hadn’t happened, and really don’t want to remember. But it’s there. It’s right there inside. One way to deal with the past is to try […]

S:0580 Distinction: Lapse vs. Relapse

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   Awareness, action, change, growth. One of the core elements of a coaching relationship is the topic of change. Change happens in many ways and there may be lapses during the change. A lapse is a momentary […]

S:0579 Distinction: Expectation vs. Expectation

(Distinctions are subtleties of language that, when gotten, cause a shift in a belief, behavior, value or attitude.)   There are two uses of the word “expectation” in the world of coaching and personal development and, without a clear definition of which is being used, can cause confusion. The first use is to describe a […]